feeling introspective...
What is this sudden sadness that sometimes takes hold without apparent cause. A vice in my spokes, that speaks, but unlike this bicycle, it only speaks when I am not in motion, when I find myself without immediate direction, then the darkest memories sink down from my thoughts into my heart and cause me to pause yet further, which yet increases the shadow; stilled, motionless, watching my shadow lengthen as the sun goes down behind my back. You try to give it words, try to reach out but others will only say, "stop being so introspective" and then you begin to see yourself from another perspective, and again notice your movement before you yet willed it and it has passed and you can only then agree, 'yes, no need for introspection. what was that somber mood?'. Yet, though you've been released, those thoughts and moods tighten back into the coil of your subconscious, waiting to spring again when you next give pause. Then you move for fear, keep moving in order to survive. Don't dare stop. This is the fear and warning of others as well, who would rather not listen or try to understand, as though they know that darkness will spread from you to them in an instance should they feed, the same darkness which gives them cause to sound, "stop being so introspective". And so we all once again join the human race, the struggle and strive of survival: transition as a constant, and the the hope of someday, content.
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- Published:
- 3/26/2009 03:40:00 AM
- by Benji
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